I had this thought of "What if I turned my negativity into gratitude?" I can fully admit that I'm one of those who overly admits they are sorry. Recently I've realized that I apologize way too much and for the most ridiculous reasons. If I'm 5 minutes late, forget something I promised I would do, or if it was something that I thought needed an apology. I caught myself overusing my apologies.
So tonight as I sat in my bed I wanted to change this one thing within myself. I want to start replacing thank you instead of I'm sorry. How great would that be? Instead of "I'm sorry for being late" switching it to "Thank you for waiting on me, I appreciate you" and "I'm sorry for being a terrible friend" with "Thank you for caring and loving me unconditionally". I want my people to experience my gratitude for them instead of the negativity thats swirling inside of me because they deserve it.
I want to create a gracious atmosphere around the relationships I have with others and myself. Giving grace, makes room for growth. We are so hard on ourselves that we tend to forget to make space for others love. I'm one of them. I love on others so hard but turn around to myself and constantly reject others love. I know I'm loved but it sometimes takes a beating to do so.
Tonight I'm thankful for the people who God specifically placed in my life. It's a select few but I've never felt so full in the friend department.
So this is for you -
I love you. Thank you for championing me even when I am unloveable, ungracious and self righteous. Thank you for taking the time to love me even when I had given you every excuse not to. Lastly, thank you for giving me grace when I am undeserving of it.
Sorry for the no post last week. I had been at the Doctors office more than my own home and tbh it hasn't been the best week in the medical department! Next Tuesday I'm getting back surgery on my L 4/5. They are telling me recovery is 6-8 weeks. Plus no driving for 2 weeks (MomUber) ..... HOWEVER you know me and know I can't stand still for less than a day so.... I'm praying for a fast and healthy recovery! I'm not saying I'm disappearing but like if I'm not 100% together for a month or so, you now know why! I've been busy creating content over the last few weeks prepping for something like this and I'm so thankful I did!